


Spare me the medical puns

by SadGladMad



Category: Timothée Chalamet/Armie Hammer - Fandom
Genre: Carpenter Armie, Doctor AU, Family Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Single parent Armie, pediatrician au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 07:19:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18633448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SadGladMad/pseuds/SadGladMad
Summary: What happens when Armie's fictional daughter falls in love with her paediatrician. Will her Dad Armie approve?Thank God he wore the double denim today..esp if he's going to be introduced to his potential son-in-law.“Oh, I’ve been waiting to meet you for some time, Daddy.” Timmy shot back. His voice was a little husky, a little breathy.





	Spare me the medical puns

 

“Dr Chalamet will see you now, young lady.”

 

Armie stood up, a little relieved that the wait was over. Although it hadn’t been _that_ long, the furtive looks the nurses had been giving him were making him wary. They had been a little too obvious. And he was familiar with what came next.

 

Cooing over a father looking after his daughter (as if it wasn’t his duty?).

He didn’t need recognition or a fucking medal, she was HIS kid for heaven’s sake. And he definitely didn’t need the offers of unnecessary assistance. Or unsolicited phone numbers…

 

Thankfully, it was the grey haired senior nurse who was shepherding them into the doctor’s office. The leggy blonde with the killer cheekbones who had been eyeing him had disappeared.

 

He stretched his neck from side to side as he stood up. At 6 foot 5 inches, he definitely stood out in a paediatrician’s waiting room. And not just for being the only male parent present. “C’mon kiddo. Let’s go.”

 

Ginny came running over and hugged her stuffed panda. Armie smiled, his blue eyes crinkling when she urged her constant companion and stuffed panda, “Come on Mulan! Time to get our shots.”

 

This was the 1st time in 4 years he’d come with Ginny to a doctor’s appointment. He hadn’t been sure about how to prepare her or what to bring. He had her immunisation record but surely the paediatrician had a copy of that? Today Ginny had been in surprisingly-cooperative-Ginny mode.

 

She was always a little better behaved for him than her Mom (or the nanny). Come to think of it, so was he. He and Liz had a stormy separation, but as soon as she hooked up with Gary the IT gazillionaire.. the separation and divorce became…well…. almost amicable.

 

And when she had remarried before Armie even had a serious relationship, he had breathed a sigh of relief. Negotiations for custody which had been the sticking point took on a different slant because of Gary’s business travel. And Armie was happy to “help out”.

 

As a consequence Ginny was staying with him for 5 weeks while the honeymooners cruised around the Mediterranean. He loved having Ginny creep into his bed pretending she had heard a monster under her bed, He loved waking up to being tenaciously and possessively strangled by a sweaty 5 year old arm.

 

He did not miss being tagged on social media as “#best ex ever”. “#Conscious uncoupling goals.” The honeymoon was going very well if the radio silence was anything to go by.

 

He was starting to miss his wedding ring though. The number of come-ons he was getting when he went out with Ginny was ridiculous.  And the nanny could not take a hint.

Liz thought it was funny and was probably encouraging her, knowing her weird sense of humour.

 

The upside of deciding to take the month off and work from home, apart from the overwhelming joy of having Ginny with him, was the added bonus of the nanny (TiffaniBritneyStaciwhatever) _NOT_ hanging around _HIS_ house making him feel like he needed camouflage. He had no intention of telling her he was gay, it was none of her business. But he’d been desperate enough to contemplate it.

 

Yes this was LA.

Yes he had a famous last name.

But for fucks sake, he was the black sheep. The dumb son, who only graduated from high school, never went to college, worked as a carpenter. Sure he had a thriving business making bespoke furniture but he wasn’t making millions (unlike his Ivy League, I-only-married-once younger brother).

 

He sighed and tried to focus on Ginny who was following the nurse.

They were ushered into an empty office. There were photos on the wall of a curly haired child playing soccer, then the same boy performing in a play as a spotty teenager, and then smiling blindingly in a mortarboard on graduation day.

 

Ginny sat down and patted the seat next to her. “C’mon big buddy. Don’t be afraid. He’s reaaally nice.”

 

Armie laughed as he took the chair next to hers and planted a kiss in her hair.

 

“Is he?” he laid his head on hers while she kissed her panda. “You are so reassuring. Your big buddy is feeling braver already.”

 

In this position he could hear murmurs through the door off to the left of the desk which was ajar.

“You have got to see him, “someone was whisper shouting. “No wonder she… He’s sooo fuckable.”

 

He frowned and glanced down at Ginny. She was oblivious and chatting happily to Mulan.

 

The tone of the conversation was appallingly bitchy. Liz would have had a cow,he thought uncomfortably. God, he hoped they weren’t talking about him and Liz.

 

There was a hissed barely audible reply “The door!” and then a soft clunk as the door closed. The whisperers had realised they had been overheard then.

 

A moment later the same door opened and in stepped the kid from the photos. Surely he wasn’t the paediatrician? He looked about 20 years old. Before Armie had time to process anything else Ginny went bananas.

 

“Timmy!” She exclaimed as she exploded out of the chair (Mulan callously dumped on the floor) and threw herself at the new arrival. She was yelling his name and wrapping herself tightly around his legs.  “Timmy! I’m here! I’m here!”

 

Timmy whose powers of perception seemed keen, noticed the pocket sized missile who had honed in on him and was currently attempting to throttle him to death, and laughed as he bent over to pick her up. He accepted her cobra-hug. She was definitely strangling him. That was clearly one of her special gifts. Near fatal hug-strangles.

 

Armie stood up and walked over to her and tried to separate her for the object of her affection.

 

“Let him breathe sweetheart.”

 

She shot him a look of pure contempt. “He is gonna marry me, Daddy!” She shrugged off his hand with a ferocity that was typical of Liz in all her glory. God he loved his sassy girls.

 

“Does he know that?” he posed mockingly, raising an eyebrow. He got a push on the shoulder for his trouble. His unimpressed daughter gazing adoringly at Timmy who was positively beaming at Armie.

 

This close up Timmy looked like a movie star. Chocolate curls, defined jawline, twinkling eyes, a delicate nose and an enchanting sense of mischief in his eyes. He was long and lean. A bit of a twink. Maybe he was a little bit older than he looked at 1st? Armie gulped. He was gorgeous.

 

The doctor leaned in to gaze into Ginny’s militant and brooding face, gently explaining, “I can’t marry you sweetheart. You know the rules.” He shook his curls forlornly. She nodded maintaining intense eye contact.

 

Timmy looked like a Labrador. Armie felt the urge to pet his head.

 

“I know,” she sighed dramatically. “It’s the law.”

 

“What law would that be?” Armie enquired with a quizzical frown. Had this stunning boy had a conversation about the legal age of marriage with a 5 year old? Wtf?

 

“I’m not allowed to marry my patients,” Timmy confirmed, shaking his head intently. “And yet they keep proposing. This is Ginny’s 2ndproposal since Halloween.” He smiled at Ginny, gently tousling her hair.

 

Boy was he cute. The smile lines around his eyes were cute. The narrow shoulders were cute. The greeny witchy hazel eyes were cute. The long pale neck was cute.

 

“Well Doc, I sure am glad that you know the rules about professional boundaries.” Armie winked in mock seriousness.

 

“Please call me Tim or Timothee, or Timmy. I answer to all of them.”

 

“Well as Ginny’s intended, it’s nice to meet finally meet you son.” Armie beamed at his witty rejoinder as he pulled Ginny back to his lap.

Let’s see how good this guy’s game was.

 

“Oh, I’ve been waiting to meet you for some time, Daddy.” Timmy shot back. His voice was a little husky, a little breathy.

 

As soon as the words were out of his own mouth Timmy looked shocked. His face was as expressive as a billboard and at the moment it was flashing neon “ _Oh boy…I liked that…uh-oh_ ”.

 

Armie bit his lips and tried not to laugh. He was pretty sure he was blushing. But Timmy- he was aflame. His face went bright red and he averted his eyes. He retreated to behind the desk.

 

The appointment that followed was excruciating. They made nervous darting eye contact. When one of them looked at the other, the other looked away. Timmy at Ginny’s notes, Armie at Ginny. Lips were pursed. Words were stuttered. Sentences were incoherent.

 

Armie’s internal dialogue was telling him to get his shit together. This guy was cute as fuck. He seemed pretty interested although awkwardly so. But he was definitely pretty.

He was also definitely checking Armie out. Thank god he’d worn the double denim (brought out the colour of his eyes Liz used to say) and not shaved today. The scruff did it for some folks.

 

At the end of the appointment, Ginny demonstrated her negotiation prowess. “I was so brave today Timmy. Do I get a reward?”

 

“That’s rude Ginny. We don’t talk to people that way,” Armie admonished gently.

 

“Well, I usually give her a hug and a sticker. Would that ..that be ok, Mr Hammer?” Timmy was shyly asking. He was biting his lips, looking at him, then looking away. Blushing, fidgeting. Gosh he was cute as a puppy. With a ribbon.

 

He lowered his voice, looked him in the eye and pronounced “Call me Armie. Or Daddy.” He winked at the poor boy.

 

**Author's Note:**

> seattlepetal-blog on tumblr.  
> It's all Charmie and conspiracy theories though. You've been warned.


End file.
